So, uh, hi

I haven't updated in forever because River and I haven't done anything in forever.  I've ridden him a couple times here and there, but nothing consistent, largely because he was being goofy from not being ridden in so long and I wasn't confident enough to get through it. 

But good news!  A friend moved her horse to my barn, so I've got her riding Riv for me.  (I'm super picky about how my horses are ridden and would rather they sit in a field and rot than be ridden badly.)  I was there for her first ride, to show her his tack and everything and explain about his oddities.  After that, I told her she's free to ride him whenever she wants, no need to ask me.  I will start riding him at some point, but I'll let her get him going decently first... she's young and less likely to break if he dumps her.

Her first ride on him, he was being a dork... He Would.  Not.  Move.  It took him about 10 minutes to figure out how to trot.  He was doing that excitable up-and-down thing that's annoying and honestly kind of scares me.  He eventually figured it out and was being not-terrible.  Although he did randomly spook at a corner of the ring he'd already passed about 20 times.  Idiot.

Being a dork and moving every part of his body in a different direction:

By the end, he was moving all of his parts together and in a forward direction.  Needs more push from behind, but compared to above he's going beautifully:

She rode him again a few days later.  The video she sent me looked so good!  I can't put it here, so I took a couple screenshots.  He was apparently really sweaty because she had to longe him before getting on because he was "a fire-breathing dragon".

Trotting like a normal horse:

He looks so normal!  It's like I haven't been ignoring him for a couple of years!

Look how nice and fat he is!!!!  I think this is probably the best weight he's ever been in.  I had to press hard to feel his ribs.  Ultium + Cool Calories + AMAZING hay = fat Princess!  But I might need to get him a longer girth.

Oh, that thing in the bottom left corner?   Yes, my barn owner got a couple of wee goats!

They're travel-sized for your convenience:

I tossed a goat up on River's back.  He could not have cared less.  (The broom, on the other hand....)

Too Little, Too Late: An Explanation of the Fundamental Wrongness of the Republican Party

If you think that Trump and the Republicans are all about honoring the Constitution as it was written, you're mistaken. According to the Republican Platform:

"The Declaration sets forth the fundamental precepts of American government: That God bestows certain inalienable rights on every individual, thus producing human equality; that government exists first and foremost to protect those inalienable rights; that man-made law must be consistent with God-given, natural rights; and that if God-given, natural, inalienable rights come in conflict with government, court, or human-granted rights, God-given, natural, inalienable rights always prevail; that there is a moral law recognized as “the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God”; and that American government is to operate with the consent of the governed."

So to summarize: whatever rights the Republican Party thinks are innate under the god of their choosing supersede the document they claim to revere.

First, there are two clarifications which must be made:

1. There is only one use of the word “God” in the combined entirety of the Declaration of Independence and Constitution, which is the “Nature's God” quoted in the Republican Platform above. Note that this is not just any god. It is not even a religious god. It is the God of Nature. This does not correspond with the Republican Party's assumption of the Christian God.

2. The exact wording is of the Declaration of Independence's statement on unalienable rights is: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights." Is the wording meant to say that all people have the same creator, that there is only one Creator? I would argue that, had that been the intention, they would have said "endowed by the Creator". My interpretation of the wording allows individuals to acknowledge their own creators.

One may argue that it is unlikely that the founding fathers had that interpretation in mind; however, I would rebut that if the argument is that the founding fathers were infallible, then we must accept what they wrote and what they did not write. The possessive before "Creator" is, to my mind, the critical word. “A Creator”, “the Creator”, and “their Creator” all have different meanings. Whether intentional or not, the founding fathers chose the word that allows the greatest personal variation of who or what that Creator is.

Regardless, the point must be made that at no point did the founding fathers specifically credit the Christian God with the origin of our unalienable rights. As any writer can tell you, specificity is the soul of narrative.

Moving on from the Republican Platform's lack of internal validity, we have another issue. If MY God and MY God-given rights are different from the Republican Party's, then the Republican Party infringes on my first amendment right to freedom of religion (which, to be clear, means that I have both the freedom to practice the religion of my choice, and the freedom to not have other religious beliefs or practices imposed upon me).

The only rights the founding fathers felt compelled to spell out in the Declaration of Independence as unalienable are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. And to be clear, these rights are not god-given, they are "endowed by their Creator."

Given the existence of slavery and inability of women to vote at the time of our nation's birth, obviously the founding fathers didn't really mean that all people have unalienable rights to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

I see three options:

1. We accept the Republican Party's infringement on our constitutionally protected rights.

2. We accept the Constitution as it was intended by the founding fathers. We revoke the equal rights amendments added later because if the founding fathers wanted women and Blacks to have rights, they would have said so.

3. We accept the spirit of the Constitution (that it is a document designed to protect all citizens' rights, not revoke them) and make legislative, judicial, and executive decisions accordingly.

Quick question for you guys...

So I started another blog, Equines of New York.  (I know, I know, what am I doing starting another blog when I can barely be bothered to update this one?  Well... fair point.  I'm working on it.)

I'm planning on doing one post a day, Monday through Friday.  I have the next week or so of posts scheduled (10AM EST!), but looking through my stock of horse pictures, I've got a question...

Is it weird if I use pictures of horses that have since passed away?  If I do use those photos, should I specify somewhere that the horse has died?

Also, it's not weird to use the same horse multiple times, right?  (Different photos, different interviews.)

Thanks for your input!

Please spread the word about EoNY.  If you have a picture you'd like me to use, let me know!  (Horses don't actually have to be from NY, just copying Humans of New York and Felines of New York.)

Horse Owner of the Year!

Yup, I'm totally the best horse owner EVER.

Yes, that's right, I put blankets on my horses!  So maybe I never got around to washing them and had to shake the cobwebs out... details.

Yes, that's a bird feather stuck in cobwebs on The Mare's blanket.  It's the newest fashion, trust me.

Oh, and I let The Mare's boyfriend go so I could take pictures of her, and she proceeded to flip the eff out because OMG boyfriend is gone!!  When I finally let her go (after like 45 seconds) she took off so fast she kicked up mud all over and then galloped around bucking.

Princess was mad at me for putting desitin on his yucky hind pastern that always gets those scabby sores from mud.  Sigh.


Also, after reading the Felines of New York book, I was inspired to create Equines of New York.  I'm going to try to do one a day, and the next few are scheduled to post automatically.

Awwww

I rode River last night, and then the cutest 6 year old ever asked if she could get on him...

We also let her trot a little bit with her mom holding Riv and me jogging next to her. 

I asked if she wanted to trade horses with me, but she said no :(. 

Hope you're sitting down...

My dog died.

Friday evening, my dog's breathing problems got much worse, irreversibly so.  Even giving him oxygen wasn't helping, so I made the decision to euthanize him.

Amos was born July 27, 2000.  I got him on September 13, 2000.  He was 6 weeks 6 days old and 15 pounds.  He was a momma's boy from the start.  He was a bit of an idiot, but he wasn't stupid... he was very smart.  I could tell him "go in the bedroom, get a toy, and come back" and he would look at me for a second, and run off into our room to get a toy.  He knew what "go around" and "the other way" meant, when he got the cable of the run wrapped around a tree. 

He lived to make me happy.  Sometimes he would get confused if he didn't understand and then he would get upset and need hugs.

When he was younger, I would take him trick or treating for Halloween and dress him up in a silly costume.. he was an angel, a fairy princess, and a ballerina.  He was a large, enthusiastic black dog, and that can be scary to people... but you can't be scared of a large, enthusiastic black dog wearing a tutu.  He loved it.

In September 2005, I went to England for almost 3 months for a study abroad.  When I got home shortly before Christmas, my dad had me wait in the kitchen while he went to get Amos and surprise him with his mommy...  I don't remember much of Amos' reaction, but my dad said Amos just melted when he realized I was home.

He was always the happiest dog you could imagine.  He started having health problems about 2.5 years ago, but somehow he managed to keep going much longer than we expected.

I've known it was coming for a long time, but it still blindsided me..  I guess I was expecting a slower decline, with more than a couple hours of notice.  He was fine in the morning, so finding him in such bad shape was a complete shock.

Amos was a huge part of my life for almost half my life and now he's just gone.

Happy Birthday, Striker!

Today is the Old Man's birthday.  He's 28 years old and still has more get-up-and-go than most horses half (or a third or a quarter or even an eighth) his age.  Case in point, last week I was walking him down the driveway to turn him out in the indoor.  Well, *I* was walking.  He was cantering circles around me.  Then he got loose and trotted into the outdoor ring and spent quality time going from puddle to puddle, pawing gleefully.  I refused to go out in the mud and was content to wait for him to wander back, but a barn kid volunteered to go get him for me.

Anyway.  It's his birthday and he's the best and I love him more than anything, including the two horses I actually own... combined.  Sorry, River and Mare, but you just can't compete with him.

Yesterday I set up my tripod and used the handy dandy free remote control that came with the new camera I got in December.  (Well, "free" isn't entirely accurate, considering how expensive the camera was... perhaps "included at no additional cost" is better.)  So I took some pictures of me and Striker...

Awwww, isn't he handsome??

My purpose in life is to serve as his scratching post.

Really, honey?  I actually kind of like this one, I just wish I'd had the camera angled up a bit higher and/or had us farther away so his whole head would be in the picture.

And also, I'm impressed by how decent I look.  Goodness knows I'm never going to be a beauty queen, but considering this was after an hour of morning barn chores, 8 hours of work, and trimming 2 horses' feet, I'm shockingly not a total mess.

Happy birthday, Striker!  I've got a pack of (brand name!) Twinkies with his name on it.   He's in for a treat tonight

Sulk Over?

I think I'm over my sulk...  Well actually, the turning point was a couple months ago (yes, a couple months... it's been a ridiculously long, cold winter, and I wasn't about to do anything until the weather improved).  My dad asked if River has been okay since he finished his antibiotics for his bone cyst.  And I realized that my dad bought River's antibiotics with minimal complaining and no expectation that I repay him (which, at close to $30/day for over 2 months, is a LOT of money), and it's pretty ungrateful and unappreciative of me to not take advantage of the fact that my horse is alive and sound.

So I longed River Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  He's still like a hyperactive kid who needs recess, though.  I have to turn him loose in the indoor and get him moving, then he'll canter around and around and around.  Then he'll break to a trot and go around and around and around.  Eventually he'll stop and we can longe.  He's been pretty good, so maybe we'll get fancy and switch the halter for a bridle and add the surcingle and chambon.

Running around like an idiot last night...

Still an idiot...

Finally settling down a little.

Also yesterday, I was at the barn doing stalls and I wanted to see if River needed more hay outside, so I looked in his turnout.. wait, where is he?

Oh, there he is..

I've never seen him sleep flat out outside before, so naturally I had to sneak up to get a better picture.

Ooops.  Sorry.

Riv's 15th birthday was last week.  He was pretty exited...

That's a bit better.

I tried to take a selfie with him.


Well okay then.

One of these days we'll try, you know, riding.  After I have someone else ride him first, since he hasn't been ridden in over 4 months (I haven't ridden him in over 5, but a couple of my friends rode him around New Year's.


And in case you were wondering (*snort*), The Mare is doing well.  She has a new boyfriend.... they love each other.

It's a little ridiculous.

Ugh, orange and black.  It's like Halloween in their turnout.

So there's the update.

I give up.

Tuesday we had a good ride.  Wednesday we had a great ride.  So pumped for Walter.

Get to the other barn to pick up the truck and trailer which the BO had said I could use.  Not there.  Call BO.  "Oh, I forgot, someone borrowed it to move last weekend and they haven't returned it yet."  Are you bleeping kidding me.  "You can use the Jeep and the little trailer."  Great.  The Jeep which can barely pull the tiny POS trailer which probably isn't even actually road legal or safe.  But it's Walter, so fine.

I spent over an hour trying to load him.  No way in hell was he getting on that trailer.  My BO tried to help when she got home, but no luck.

At one point, he ran backward into the tractor, reared, and almost flipped over.

So yeah.  No Walter for us.  And probably no trailering ever again, as I don't know if I'm ever going to get him on a trailer again after such a horrible experience.  I'm annoyed with River for not loading, but I can't totally blame him as the trailer is small and not at all inviting.  My BO commented that even her best loader probably wouldn't have gotten on that trailer, and she didn't even think he would fit in the slot.

I spent two weeks so excited about this, two weeks working hard to get River going halfway decently, and it all got ruined because someone can't keep track of their possessions or commitments.

Why do I even bother riding?  He was doing really well, then he had his bone cyst.  He was finally better from that and I wanted to ride, then he was footsore.  So excited to ride with Walter, and that got messed up.

I'm more discouraged than I was after my broken leg.  At least then I wanted to ride, even if I was afraid.  Now it's like why even waste my time?  Nothing is ever going to be accomplished.  And if, heaven forbid, I TRY to do something with my horse, disaster strikes.

Getting ready for Walter!

Thursday we didn't ride.

Friday we rode and he was good but lazy.

Saturday I got up early to ride and found a whip.  He was being a jerk, so I longed him and he spend 20 minutes going nuts.

Sunday we didn't ride.

Yesterday we rode.  He started off so darn lazy and yucky, but he eventually warmed up and got going forward.  Early in the ride he randomly spooked, but I yelled at him and we kept going with no further incidents.

Awww, he's so cute!

I'm hopeless. And exciting news!

I rode River on Monday.  (I know!!  What's wrong with me??)  He felt fine, but afterward I decided to longe him quick just to see how he looked.  I was like FML, he's moving short on his right front, I hate horses.

Tuesday morning I put him on the longe again and he looked the same.  Took video and texted it to my vet with a request to please shoot River and/or me.  She called me and was like "why should I shoot you, what's wrong with him?  He's fine."  So apparently if I think River is sound, that means he's lame; if I think he's lame, he's sound.

Rode him again last night and he was fine.  Fun idea:  If you want to freak out your mother, who already worries about you riding (especially after breaking a leg in a riding accident), call her before getting on your horse saying "I'm riding, if you don't hear from me in half an hour, call to make sure I'm alive."  (Normally I'd text the barn owner with a request to look for my lifeless body after X amount of time, but she wasn't home.)  He did spook once when a horse rattled his corner feeder suddenly, but we survived.

Now you might be wondering why I'm riding him.  After all, he's only been off since February, why the hurry to get him back in work?  Well....

I'm riding with Walter again next week!!!!!  Yay!!!  Lucky for me, the clinic got changed to a Thursday (my day off) and there was an opening.  Last time I rode my Old Man, but this time I really want to take River.  I have to check about trailering, but I'm sure we can make it work.  Thankfully Walter is very kind and won't be like "you're doing walk-trot and you've had this horse for HOW long?" while trying not to laugh.  Which, let's face it, is a pretty reasonable reaction.

I attempted to take a mounted selfie last night... this was the best attempt....

Poor Riv's eye looks like it's about to pop out of his skull.

So then we did an unmounted selfie.

Either his head is too big or my arm is too short.  Oh well.  We tried.

I can see!!

I've had glasses for almost 23 years.  I first started wearing them in first grade.  A few weeks ago I went for an evaluation to for LASIK...

My prescription was -11.25 in one eye and -9.50 in the other.  "Perfect" vision is 20/20, but 20/30 or 20/40 is fine too.  I couldn't read 20/800.  The people at the eye place commented that I'd be disabled without glasses.  The funny thing is, it didn't really seem that bad to me.  I haven't been able to see normally for most of my life, so it was my normal.  I would have people with normal vision try on my glasses, and pretty often the person would immediately start to get a headache and/or get dizzy.

I wasn't really expecting to be able to get LASIK, but I figured I'd do the evaluation so I'd know.  Well, as it turned out, I could get LASIK.  Surprise!

The surgery was yesterday.  I drove myself to my followup appointment this morning.  My right eye was almost 20/20 and my left was 20/30 or 20/40.  It'll be a few days at least before my eyes heal and my vision settles, so hopefully I'll end up 20/20 in both eyes

If you've been blessed with good eyes, you can't even begin to imagine what it's like being able to see.

I'm going to have to be really careful in the barn for a while, what with all the dust and stuff in the air... I got some very stylish safety goggles, lol.

If you've considered LASIK, go for it! 

For me, the procedure sucked big time.  If I had 3 eyes, I would not have made it through.  By the end of the second eye, I was holding on to consciousness for dear life.  It doesn't hurt at all, but when they make the flap, it's about 20 seconds of intense pressure on the eye.  The actual laser part is fine, although it smells rather like dehorning goats (note:  the smell is NOT from the laser on the eye, it's from the gasses used in the laser.. or something like that).

When it was done, I stayed flat on the table for a couple minutes, then a couple of people helped me back to my little room so I could lay on the couch.  After maybe 10 minutes and some cold compresses and water, I was all better.

Vision was blurry (but better than pre-surgery) for most of the day, and my eyes tended to feel gritty and/or burning... not unbearably so, just unpleasant.

As much as I hated having it done, I would do it again without hesitation.  And FWIW, eyes creep me out.  They always have.  So if you aren't weird about your eyes, you probably won't be bothered by the surgery as much as I was.

We're alive.

But nothing more interesting to report...  I've been busy and stressed, so Riv hasn't gotten much (read:  any) attention.

Cute pics from last week...

Last week a couple of the barn girls wanted to groom River.  Sure, why not?

He rather enjoyed it, I think.

He's rockin' a pretty new halter!

Yeah, I was turning him out and couldn't be bothered to get a lead rope..  But pretty pink and polka dots!!

Awwww

He's so cute!

How to keep your horse from being stolen

The Mare is 100% theft-proof for a number of reasons.  Some of those reasons, such as her witchy personality, chestnut Thoroughbred mare attitude, and ridiculously crooked front legs are things the horse either has or doesn't.

But never fear!  If you are unfortunate enough to have a sweet tempered, willing, beautifully conformed horse, there are still things you can do to reduce the likelihood of theft.

Here are a few of the acquired theft deterrents The Mare possesses.

1.  Dented skull



Nothing too obvious, but it's definitely there, and you can't hide or simulate a dented skull!

2.  Corneal scar

Scar from apparent flap of skin on side of face optional.

3.  Skin tag/extra nipple

So there you are, 3 easy ways to keep your horse from being stolen!

(I'm not entirely sure how any of these injuries happened.  The Mare's previous owner told me, but as previous owner is a pathological liar, I don't really trust anything I was told.)