Wednesday, September 3, 2014

How to keep your horse from being stolen

The Mare is 100% theft-proof for a number of reasons.  Some of those reasons, such as her witchy personality, chestnut Thoroughbred mare attitude, and ridiculously crooked front legs are things the horse either has or doesn't.

But never fear!  If you are unfortunate enough to have a sweet tempered, willing, beautifully conformed horse, there are still things you can do to reduce the likelihood of theft.

Here are a few of the acquired theft deterrents The Mare possesses.

1.  Dented skull

Nothing too obvious, but it's definitely there, and you can't hide or simulate a dented skull!

2.  Corneal scar

Scar from apparent flap of skin on side of face optional.

3.  Skin tag/extra nipple

So there you are, 3 easy ways to keep your horse from being stolen!

(I'm not entirely sure how any of these injuries happened.  The Mare's previous owner told me, but as previous owner is a pathological liar, I don't really trust anything I was told.)


  1. I knew this post would be funny as soon as I saw the title! There is no simulating that third nipple either lol!!

    1. And really, even if you COULD simulate it, why would you want to??

  2. Hahaha, the third nipple is my favorite! What story did Former Owner give for that one?

    1. Yes, the extra nipple is pretty popular.. Former Owner said she had a cut that got sutured, mare ripped out the sutures, and it healed with the flap of skin just hanging out.