River's vet at Cornell called today. He's more lame and his shoulder is more swollen. She wanted to do xrays, and I gave the okay. Nothing showed up, which is good. Basically anything that would show up on an xray would mean euthanasia. Bone scan tomorrow morning.
I really hadn't given much thought to the idea that he might not get better, that whatever is wrong with him might not be treatable. Now it's hitting me... He might not get better. He might need to be put down. How am I supposed to prepare for that, to deal with it? He's only 14. Our 3 year anniversary is on Thanksgiving. What will there to be thankful about if I lose him?