I Demand a Refund!
My Thoroughbred ex-racehorse is not nearly crazy enough!
Everyone knows that OTTBs are firebreathing monsters that require at least two people with chains to keep them under control. River is clearly defective
Just look at him, standing there all quiet and placid:
This is not natural! I want a refund, there is something wrong with my OTTB!
Oh wait.... he was free.
How Did I End Up with the World's Laziest Thoroughbred?
It's actually kind of annoying. I longed him yesterday and he was okay, so I decided to put up a crossrail for him. Um, no. Keep in mind, he's gone over poles and elevated poles before, so it's not like the idea of hopping over something is totally foreign. Except, apparently, it is. He absolutely would not go over it unless I walked over it with him. He's going to make an interesting show horse... "oh, hang on a moment, Judge, we have to do the course in hand first, then we can ride it!" Except I tried jogging him in hand. Um, no. I'd try to jog while dragging him, he'd amble along behind me and refuse to move faster than a stroll.
I finally gave up and just had him trot on the longe line for 3 seconds so he didn't start thinking that forward is optional. Well, so he didn't think that even more than he already does...
Perhaps I should invest in a cattle prod...
Lookin' Good, Handsome!
Princess River is really looking pretty good.
Obviously he still needs a good bit of weight, but he's looking much better.
Also, I would just like to say: I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm Going to Rent River Out to Horse-Crazy Girls
River is Just Like My Dog
You know the type. Girls who dream of a big, handsome, blingy horse that loves them and craves attention and has a special bond with them.
Last night, as I was trying to get him to trot over the crossrail, I discovered that Riv is a lot like my dog. My dog gets upset when he is confused and needs to be hugged and cuddled so he can regain his composure.
River was upset by the whole "trot over a pole" thing, so I was petting him. He responded by sticking his head into my chest and snuggling. I silently squealed about how adorable and sweet and cuddly he is and we proceeded to have a moment. Several moments. And later, some more moments
Turns out, Riv's idea of heaven is snuggling with a person.
Hence, my plan to rent him out. For a fee, horse-crazy girls can cuddle with him for 30 minutes or an hour. It's a win-win-win: River gets his snuggles, girls get their horse time, and I get money.
He's so darn cute, and I'm a sucker for a snuggler.
Farrier had to reschedule due to weather.